Cursed Burger King
106 Liberty Street, New York, NY 10281
I’ve been keeping this lil number in my back pocket for quite some time now, (even mentioning it in week 14) waiting for the perfect moment. Well… the time has come because I’m sooooo sick (and not just of your sorry asses). I’m rockin with a good ole fashioned rootin tootin cold. Colds generally make the inside of my head play this on repeat until the nyquil escorts me to my meeting with the Hatman. A quick heads up, he does NOT respect gender pronouns after 30 mLs. Needless to say (i’m gonna say it anyway tho) I’m feeling lazy, unhinged, illiterate, and just downright BAD. ok time for cursed burger king.
Something about this burger king gives me the creeps. Mostly because it’s fucking booty is just hanging out. Seeing this building, naked on one side, next to this empty lot gives me the eerie vibe that the king for sure had something to do with it. Like he absorbed his twin in the womb but like it happened a little too late in the pregnancy for it not to feel malicious. You guys know totally what I'm talkin about.
There is basically NO information on this place, which I find shocking. It’s just me and this person who give even one shit about this peculiar (dare I say… skinty?) burger king. I really admire the person who wrote that article because they put a lot of thought into it, unlike me. I’m just one-shotting this. Is that the right term? Oh well.
moody ass mockup of the hotel
Okay so I actually did a little bit of digging and found out what happened to the absorbed twin. In 2019, the permits were filed to turn the lot into a 20-story luxury hotel… dare I say… fit for a king. But! As of 74 days ago, the new owners sold the property at a 46% loss. They clearly could not have it their way
The reviews on this eatery are a fun insight into human behavior. Something interesting to me (and probably only me) is that it has 2 stars on yelp but a whopping 3 on trip adviser. I want to know what kind of person leaves a review of a burger king on trip adviser. Clearly a 1-star-more forgiving person than someone who would leave a review on yelp. After flipping through picture after picture of busted chicken sandwiches, I’ve concluded that the overall opinion is that this place blows. But hey, you’re eating at a burger king in a city overflowing with good food. So, do you deserve the food poisoning, the shitty service, and the cold food? Well, yes. Is that classist? … well … yes … probably.
The top floors look vacant. Hey…? Thats fuckin creep city bro. Something is WRONG with this place!! Why doesn’t anyone believe me??! The stories have been covered up. He don’t want us to know about this. I’m risking my life by investigating this.
old ass picture of this street
When I was a child, the burger king near my school was the absolute place 👏🏼 to 👏🏼 be 👏🏼! We would go there most Fridays after school and hang out with my cousins / friends. The jungle gym had this open space that resembled a boxing ring and was used as such. Inside, there were neon lights and video games that you could play 90 seconds of for free. When they say make America great again, I’d like to think they are referring to that burger king. Now I can’t go inside fast food establishments without feeling a guttural sadness. But that might just be bcas i’m an empath.
Fun Facts
This was the temporary NYPD headquarters during the aftermath of 9/11. Alexa, play I’m proud to be an American
One time i had an impromptu bday party at a burger king and tbh that’s when life peaked for me. the cake was made of chicken nuggets.
They serve Cinnabon here, which I think is what’s keeping it from being a 1-star establishment
So so sorry (but not really tbh) for this not even half-assed botw. I’m going back to bed now, the Hatman awaits.
Anyways… see you next week! Toodaloo!
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giiiiiiirl youre HILARIOUS!!!!! lol not the hatman. he owes ME money.