Seaport Residences
161 Maiden Lane, New York, NY 10038
The tea is hot with this one, so strap in. You can call this building ‘Eminem’ because the chances of it ever being completed are slim and the people who built it are shady. HA! I’m hilarious.
Back in 2007, Bluerock Properties saw a parking lot a stone’s throw away from Manhattan’s historic & beautiful Seaport district and said, “let me cook”. For all of you of an older persuasion, to “let one cook” means something amazing is about to happen. But instead of something amazing, this turns out to be a complete shit show.
I tried to look up what Bluerock Properties even is exactly and they describe themselves as a “Leading Institutional Alternative Asset Manager”. Riiight. Me lying on my resume vibes. Avoiding accountability by being vague as shit vibes. Starbucks calling their employees “partners” vibes. Like shut up, you’re just a fucking real estate company.
I hope at least one of you has seen the original of this. Anyway, this property used to be a small parking lot which is a very similar origin story to Skinty Building!! The lot was sold in 2011 for $41.17 million and then again in 2013 for $64 million to the star of today’s show: Fortis Property Group! Fortis submitted its plan for a luxury condominium to the New York Real Estate Finance Bureau and was approved in 2016. Fortis estimated that it would be able to sell 80 condos for a total of $272 million, with condos ranging from $1.2 mil to $18 mil. The building was estimated to be completed in 2 years (2018), which, if we remember anything from Skinty, is not a solid bet to place.
They actually sold 50% of the condos by 2017 due to some top-notch marketing efforts. The mockups are seriously impressive and they even promised residents that they would have access to complementary yachts up to three times a week. Okay, so they’re rich rich, right? WRONG. Fortis marketed themselves as super boujee but cut corners literally every single place they could. They hired the Italian firm, Pizzorati (such a cool name, what a waste) as the general contractor because they were cheap. Pizzorati then went and hired non-union workers. What could possibly go wrong?!
This section feels better in bullet points
In 2017, a construction worker from SSC High Rise, the project's concrete subcontractor, fell to his death after another worker moved a platform with workers still on it (highly illegal)
The people wanting to buy these condos after that were like: link. By 2018, 2/3s of the condos were sold.
Construction was halted by a stop work order from the Department of Buildings for improper netting.
It was halted again after a concrete bucket hit the 34th floor, pouring concrete onto the street and lifting part of the 34th-story deck.
The building was also issued a Class 1 hazardous code for not having a working standpipe (an extension of a fire hydrant that can be accessed on all floors of a high rise, helpful in cases such as week 10)
*thicc italian accent* thatsa lotta problems! But wait, there’s more!
Construction seemingly came to a complete stop by 2019, despite Fortis claiming all was well. The news then broke that Pizzarotti had sued Fortis Property Group because the building is leaning 3 inches north. They say Fortis caused the lean because they cut costs on the building’s foundation. Instead of using traditional piling supports, Fortis chemically treated the soil to “make it stronger”. Hey? What the fuck? You were planning on building a skyscraper without underground support??
Fortis countered that it was the work of the shitty, non-union concrete crews hired by Pizzarotti. Tbh they are both to blame! Fortis has continued racking up lawsuits because they have failed to pay a lot of their contractors. They are also facing foreclosure due to them not making their loan payments. Fortis, you have been voted off the island.
How does one fix a leaning skyscraper built with basically no ground support? Are they going to demolish this huge building? Who is going to pay for that? For the foreseeable future, this leaning skeleton of a building will sit empty and haunt Seaport with its ugliness.
Madi Hall on the scene
Fun Facts
A huge graffiti tag appeared at the top of this 58-story building. Very scary and very impressive. Here’s a video showing the graffiti artist at work. For some reason, the video editor chose opera singing for background music?
Fortis was sued for trying to name this building One Seaport Residences by a building called One Seaport Plaza a few blocks away. They then changed it to 1 Seaport for a while and then to just Seaport Residences.
The architects for this building are Hill West Architects. They designed a building near me that looks like a Playstation 5. They also designed the infamous Jenga Building. These mfs love glass.
I’m not saying this wouldn't have happened if it wasn’t designed to be an all-glass building, but I’m not not saying that.
Anyways… see you next week! Toodaloo!
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Bluerock Properties “cooking”: